Dealing With My Drunk French Boyfriend
by RaindropsOnMyTeaCup
Summary: *FrUK/UKFr One-shot* Francis' wandering hands turned his boyfriend on so much that Arthur practically dragged him from the bar, more than happy to let the Frenchman do as he pleased once they got home. But he is more than put out when all Francis wants to do is cuddle...Funny, fluffy. Also slight Spamano. Rated M for language and almost sex but not quite...


**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia**

* * *

 **Dealing With My Drunk French Boyfriend**

The soft sound of the music that drifted from the loudspeakers faded into the background, barely audible compared to the raucous, drunken laughter of the loudest table in the bar.

Five men surrounded this table, but only three of them were really responsible for all the ruckus. Gilbert, an obnoxious albino German, slammed his pint glass against the table as a Spaniard next to him with olive-green eyes and unruly brown hair cheered for him. Francis, a flamboyant Frenchman with sparkling blue eyes and golden hair giggled uncontrollably, seeming to struggle with staying in his seat.

As he wavered, he was caught and supported by Arthur, who then shifted closer to the Frenchman on the banquette so that he could lean on him. Arthur was Francis' boyfriend, an Englishman with emerald-green eyes and short blonde hair. He had volunteered to remain sober on the outing so that he could make sure Francis would get home safely, not admitting he knew far too well what his boyfriend was like drunk – willing to flirt with anyone he set eyes on – and he could not stand the idea of the Frenchman flirting with anyone other than him.

Sat opposite the couple and sandwiched uncomfortably between Gilbert and Antonio, was the Spaniard's also sober boyfriend, Lovino. Lovino was a grouchy Italian who was mainly sober because he was still suffering from a hangover, but he kept eyeing Antonio's tequila as if he was tempted to down it to make dealing with the Spaniard easier.

Francis, Gilbert and Antonio were all drunk off their asses, and as such very difficult to deal with. Francis in particular was living up to Arthur's expectations, as his slender hands were having trouble keeping to themselves.

"Arthur~" the Frenchman purred, leaning against the Englishman and placing one hand on Arthur's chest, playing with the buttons on his shirt suggestively.

Arthur blushed faintly, catching Francis' hand before it could roam anywhere more inappropriate. His eyes widened slightly when he felt the Frenchman's soft lips brush over his jaw.

"Not now, Francis…" Arthur chastised quietly, hoping the other three men were not paying attention to them. Francis only giggled, nipping Arthur's earlobe playfully. The sober man shivered slightly, secretly loving how affectionate and flirtatious Francis would become towards him when he was drunk. He discreetly placed his hand on Francis' thigh to satisfy him a little so that he wouldn't be so forward, but he knew that rejecting the Frenchman completely would only upset him.

Francis grinned, kissing the corner of his boyfriend's mouth which only enticed Arthur further, and he pursed his lips together slightly, trying to ignore the Frenchman's hands once again roaming over Arthur's chest.

"Fuck off, Toni!" Lovino complained, drawing Arthur's attention to the sight of Antonio hanging off the Italian, grinning like an idiot as he tried to kiss him.

"But Loviii!~" Antonio whined, pouting as Lovino tried his best to shove the Spaniard off him.

Arthur's lips twitched upwards in amusement, but he gasped quietly as he felt Francis' hand on his crotch. No one else noticed as thankfully the table concealed them, but even though Arthur grabbed the Frenchman's hand again, he was already getting aroused simply from Francis' undivided attention to his body. Panic spiked in him as the Englishman feared he might have a noticeable bulge, and he suddenly knew he had to get out of there, if only to save his own pride.

Gilbert laughed loudly as Antonio nuzzled against Lovino's neck, despite the protest from the blushing Italian.

"I said fuck off, _bastardo_!" Lovino seethed, but his actions betrayed his words as he subtly put a hand on Antonio's back to support him as the Spaniard leaned precariously in his seat.

Arthur took the opportunity, whilst the other three were distracted, to rise to his feet, helping Francis up too and holding him by the waist. The Frenchman blinked, before beginning the inevitable protest as it was always a struggle trying to get Francis to leave a bar.

"I think I should get Francis home before he drinks the entire bar…" Arthur began his polite farewells, rolling his eyes as Francis grabbed for his half-full wine glass and pulling him back gently but firmly. "No love, you've had enough."

"Non…!" Francis whined, not struggling much though as he was rather submissive to his boyfriend's firm tone. "I'm still thirsty!" His words were slurred and heavily laced with his French accent, which was much stronger in his state of intoxication, but Arthur was more than used to deciphering drunken French by now.

Arthur ignored him, bidding goodbye to the two drunk men and sending a look of pity towards Lovino, who merely scowled in response.

Antonio pouted as he saw Francis had to leave. "No, Fran…!" he tried to stand as if to save Francis from the evil Englishman that had captured him, but he lost his balance and fell off his chair instead, bursting into giggles.

Gilbert roared in laughter as he watched his friend sprawled on the floor, not even acknowledging the swift exit that Arthur made, hauling a whining Francis behind him.

XxX

Arthur bundled Francis into the passenger seat of his car, making sure he was strapped in before pausing as Francis grabbed him by the shirt collar and kissed him. The Englishman hummed, responding to the kiss happily enough, but ending it quickly and prying Francis' hands off him so he could get into the car as well.

The Frenchman giggled as he watched Arthur get into the driver's seat, barely giving Arthur a chance to close the door before he leaned across, crashing his lips against Arthur's sloppily. Arthur hummed in surprise, but he really should have expected such behaviour from his boyfriend by now.

" _Mmph,_ Francis…" Arthur mumbled against the Frenchman's insistent lips, before gently pushing him back. "Wait until we get home, love."

Francis pouted, whining softly. "But I want you, _amour_ …!" he sounded so desperate anyone would have thought he had been deprived of sex for a year, but Arthur knew full well that they had made love only that morning, so surely Francis could wait another ten minutes.

With that in mind, Arthur ignored the rest of his boyfriend's pleas, starting the car and driving home. However, the journey was slightly uncomfortable as he had a slight bulge that had to be neglected, but with a horny Frenchman in the passenger seat, said bulge was not willing itself away easily.

At some point while Arthur was driving, Francis had gone quiet, and when he glanced over at the passenger seat, he saw that Francis had slipped into a doze from all the alcohol he had had. Arthur bit his lip, secretly hoping the Frenchman would wake up just as horny for him as he had been at the bar.

XxX

Arthur let out a groan as he heaved Francis out of the car, feeling the Frenchman stir against him and he sighed in relief. Francis dragged his eyes open, smiling as soon as he saw he was in Arthur's arms, but he made no effort to stand by himself, so Arthur carried him into his house bridal style, trying to ignore the fact that he was getting turned on again just by having Francis against his chest.

The Englishman carried his boyfriend up the polished wooden stairs, knowing exactly where Francis' bedroom was, and gently placed him down on his bed. Arthur was desperately hoping for some move to be made on Francis' part, but the Frenchman only reached up for him, wanting to cuddle instead as he was sleepy.

Arthur inwardly groaned, but he complied, lying next to Francis and letting him cuddle against his chest, resting his head on the Englishman's shoulder with a happy sigh. Eventually, Arthur closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would come to relieve him of his arousal, but that hope was also shattered as Francis looked up at him, playing with his shirt buttons again.

" _Mon cher_ …?" his voice was still slurred, but his tone was sleepy and curious, and Arthur opened his eyes again to acknowledge him.

"Hm?"

Francis blushed faintly, before smiling. "I wanna get married~"

Arthur blinked. He knew that sometimes when Francis was drunk he would ramble and blurt out random statements, and the Englishman much preferred dealing with a horny Frenchman than a musing one.

But, knowing that Francis wouldn't even remember saying such things in the morning, Arthur decided to humour him. "You do?"

The Frenchman nodded, humming happily and nuzzling against Arthur's chest. "Hm, _oui_ ~ I wanna be your wife~"

The statement made Arthur smile, as he automatically pictured Francis in a wedding dress, and the thought was not as unappealing as he would have predicted.

When Arthur did not respond, Francis continued, beginning to ramble. "And you could be my 'usband~ You will come home from work _et_ I will cook you a lovely dinner~" A dreamy smile danced alluringly on Francis' lips as he lost himself in his fantasy of being Arthur's 'wife'.

" _Et_ I will ask 'How was your day, _mon cher_?' _et_ you will tell me, and I will massage your shoulders while I listen, until you are nice and relaxed~"

Even though he was well aware that his boyfriend was drunk, as Arthur listened he found himself wanting this fantasy more than anything. He loved the thought of coming home to Francis every day, sharing kisses and spending the evenings together.

" _Et_ then we will eat dinner, which will be delicious!" Francis smiled in confidence, tracing small patterns over Arthur's chest with his index finger. " _Et_ then you will take me up to bed, _et_ make love to me every single night~"

This last part made Arthur smile even more, as usually Francis never let him be the dominant one, but apparently, he was all up for it when he was drunk.

"That sounds wonderful, love…" Arthur spoke softly, kissing the top of Francis' head gently. "But we haven't even moved in together yet~"

The Frenchman did not seem deterred, and instead he shifted closer to Arthur, his eyes sparkling so beautifully that Arthur's heart fluttered. "Well let's do that!" he suggested spontaneously.

The Englishman chuckled, as they hadn't even talked about it, but it was something that Arthur wished for, since they had been seeing each other for two years and were nearly always staying over at each other's houses anyway.

"Perhaps we should~" Arthur agreed, stroking Francis' hair softly, smiling as his boyfriend beamed at him. Francis seemed about to say something else, but as Arthur began stroking his hair, the Frenchman settled back down, laying on Arthur's chest and sighing happily and sleepily.

The Englishman smiled, wrapping his other arm around his boyfriend. "Goodnight, love…"

Francis mumbled something incoherent in response, quickly falling asleep.

Arthur held him close, playing with his hair and admiring his peaceful features, seriously considering the propositions that Francis had made as he too fell asleep.

XxX

Francis woke up slowly, dragging his eyes open with some effort. The other side of the bed was empty, the curtains were drawn back to let the sunlight in, and there was a steaming hot cup of coffee on the bedside table for him. The Frenchman smiled softly, shielding his eyes from the sun as he sat up, taking slow sips of his coffee before getting out of bed. His limbs felt like lead as he showered and got dressed, feeling a little better after the hot water and the coffee.

Stifling a yawn, Francis trudged downstairs, searching for some painkillers to quiet his pounding headache. Wandering into the kitchen, he saw Arthur sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and a book, and he smiled. His boyfriend looked up from his novel, returning the smile and speaking softly so as not to worsen Francis' suffering.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty~" he teased gently, to which Francis just stuck out his tongue, leaning against the counter with the rest of his coffee.

Letting out a sigh, the Frenchman tilted his head back slightly. "Alright _, mon cher_. What stupid things did I do last night?"

Arthur smirked, closing his book and taking a sip of tea. "Well, you couldn't keep your hands off me, first of all. Although that isn't any different to when you are sober…"

Francis smiled, giving an innocent shrug as if he had no idea what the Englishman was talking about. " _Oui_ , of course. But did I say or do anything embarrassing?" he knew Arthur loved teasing him about the ridiculous things he did whilst drunk, but this time Arthur seemed a bit more hesitant with the information he was sharing.

"Well, you certainly teased me a bit…" Arthur revealed slightly.

"Oh?" Francis probed, his cerulean eyes studying his boyfriend as the Englishman spoke. He didn't miss the faint blush that spread across his cheeks.

Arthur nodded in confirmation. "You got me all excited and then decided you wanted to cuddle and talk about the future instead."

Francis chuckled softly, but he faltered slightly as Arthur mentioned the future. He hadn't brought up anything previously because he didn't want to scare Arthur off, but now he was afraid he might have said something that Arthur didn't agree with. "…What about the future?"

He watched as Arthur stood from the table, putting his empty cup in the sink as he had finished his tea. "About moving in together…and getting married…"

Francis paled slightly, as Arthur did not reveal in his tone whether he was happy about it or spooked by it. "…Oh…" was all he managed in response, clutching his own cup too tightly. Arthur was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he was afraid to lose him because of some drunken ramblings.

The Englishman turned to his boyfriend, meeting his gaze. "Did you mean it? Do you want us to move in together?"

The direct question made Francis slightly jittery, but he never lied to Arthur, and now he meekly nodded. " _O-Oui_ , but if you're not ready for it – "

Arthur smiled, pecking Francis' lips gently to calm him. "Of course I'm ready for it. I can't wait to wake up to you every morning, and come home to you every evening~"

Francis paused, before seeing Arthur's genuine smile, and his anxiety melted away. "Really?"

The Englishman only chuckled, nodding as he placed a hand on Francis' cheek, before his tone grew more serious. "On one condition."

The Frenchman blinked, before nodding. "Oui, anything…~"

Arthur's lips quirked upwards in a smirk as he gently pried Francis' coffee cup from his hands, placing it on the side before turning back to his boyfriend. "You still owe me for getting me all worked up last night…"

Francis let out a light laugh, before sliding his arms around his neck. "Well I shall put that to rights immediately~" He leaned in, kissing Arthur softly and lovingly, but was surprised when Arthur pulled back.

"But – " Arthur placed one finger against Francis' lips. "I want to top."

This made Francis pause, and he contemplated this, as he never let Arthur dominate him while he was sober, but he smiled. "Since you asked so nicely~" he purred, giving a small nod of permission.

Arthur grinned, feeling triumphant and excited that his boyfriend was allowing him to be dominant, and he wasted no time, claiming the Frenchman's lips passionately.

Francis moaned as Arthur forced his tongue into his mouth, his last coherent thought being that Arthur was so hot when he was dominant, before he was lost in Arthur's passion.

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 **A/N: Just a cute, maybe funny little one-shot for you because I had an idea~**

 **Please review and let me know what you thought about drunk Francis, and did you like how Arthur seemed to be the hornier one for once?**

 **Love you all~ x**


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